Clara's Giveaway

Clara is having a giveaway in honor of her 100th follower. What she is giving away is a secret inside of a lovely black and gold bag. She will reveal what is in the bag when the winner is picked. You can find her at http://clarascrochetroom.blogspot.com/2010/09/claras-crochet-room-giveaway-other.html .

Checkerboard madness

Hey there! Gee, it seems like forever that I've posted. Time seems to slip away from you when you're busy in your life. And I've been pretty busy. At least trying to keep busy to keep my mind occupied. August was a really bad month for me and September started out bad too.

I lost my dad in August, then lost my aunt and cousin at the beginning of September on the same day. Not together though. He was in FL and his heart gave out on him, and she was in CO and age gave out on her. She was my dad's sister. My cousin was my uncles' (my dad and aunts' brother) son. That basically leaves my uncle with no immediate family. I feel really bad for him.

I am so ready for this year to end.

Sooo....on that note, I just finished up with a swap. Shown is what I made (a microwave runner and coasters)and I was so enamoured with the finished product that I have started another one in maroon and a pastel pinky/orangey color for my daughter. The color combination is awesome! But then again so is the green and red that I did for Paula.

This particular 'stitch' pattern is in the Interweave Press book of 250 stitches. It's called 'basic patchwork'. It took me a while to get the hang of it. As a matter of fact I had the first one halfway done when it finally clicked in my brain and I pulled the whole thing apart and started over. Which was a little daunting because you're working with two colors of yarn so then you pull one color apart for 5 stitches then you come to the other color for 5 stitches and so on. The yarns get very tangled up. And they tangle while you're crocheting too. I had to stop at the end of every row and detangle the balls. Working with two strands, holding one while working with the other is not an easy task if you've never done it before. But it was worth it in the end. I love the finished product!!

I have gotten this 'hat bug'. I want to make hats. A lot of the patterns I've looked at and tried are mostly for 21" heads. So I'm thinking that I need to go up a hook size or two to come up with the right gauge for a 23" head (mine). (I know...I have a big head..lol) I've even used the right hook but added a row or two. They always end up bigger than the 23" then I have to decrease and add rows to make them fit. What's up with that? And if I don't know someone's head size....how do I know how big to make them so they fit? Does anyone know of a universal pattern that I can make that will fit almost any size head?

I'm asking for a couple of reasons: 1)I want to be able to make hats for presents and 2)I want to make hats to give as door prizes for our runs. If I had a quick crochet hat that would fit almost anyone that would be wonderful!

So that's what I'm presently up to, besides trying to get Christmas done. I have a couple of people that I just don't know what to do for them. Men....they're not as easy as women. Other than that it's coming along nicely. I have a couple of hours after work every day to crochet and a couple of hours on the weekends. Life is full.

And I think fall is FINALLY here. After that front went through yesterday it's supposed to be in the 50's at night and high 70's during the day. To me that's the perfect weather. But somehow I don't think it'll last too long before the COLD sets in. I guess we'll see.

I hope your corner of the world is full of love and laughter today.
TTFN
Kat
xoxox

Blah

I am having a hard time with the blahs. The month of August was the pits, starting with dad leaving us. I lost another friend, two of my friends lost their parents (one lost her mom the other lost his dad) right behind me losing my dad.

AND THEN I get home from work on Tuesday and in the mailbox when I open it, is this big envelope. I see it's from a friend of mine who has had/is having a really rough life. I had sent her one of my heart shell motifs a few months back hoping to put a smile on her face. Well, she returned it.

On the outside of the envelope were a few written things and one of them said 'This is my way of saying GOODBYE'. I thought...what the heck??? So I open it up and inside was the motif with a letter written on the backside of my letter to her. And she explains that maybe someone else can better use it and at the bottom it says again that this is her goodbye. I am freaking at this point.

So I go in the house and grab the phone, looking for her number on the caller ID. I call it. I get a message saying it's no longer in service. Now I am in panic mode. I don't know what to do! I am so frantic that I can't remember anything - what her sister's last name is, her brother's first name, her other friends last name. NOTHING! By this point all I want to do is get in the car and head south 370 miles.

Then it hits me - my sister lives in the same community as my friend and she's only a mile or so from her!! So I call my sister up and ask if she can go check on my friend. She says she can so I give her directions to the house from her house. She says give her 10 minutes or so and she'll give me a call when she gets there. Huge sigh of relief.......somewhat.

The call comes....no answer at the door. All curtains are closed. She goes to the neighbor next door and the neighbor is certain she saw the mailbox flag up the day before and a light on the night before. I'm freaking again. What to do? Does my sister need to call the cops? No...need to get ahold of a relative first. The neighbor next door was the 3rd cousin to the other friend that I couldn't think of her last name. Go figure huh?? Small world. So she's going to call her and in the meantime I will do some digging to come up with a relative's name so I can hunt down a number.

Now mind you....my friend's relatives are not on very good terms with her except for one that I am aware of. This other 'friend' has been described by my friend to me as 'taking advantage' of her. (My friend has several severe medical problems and has to use a walker to walk - obviously she does not work - she's basically sitting in her home waiting to die. This is my observation of when I last saw her at Christmas) Anyway I get online and I start searching obits in the area (hoping to not see hers), anything to try and remember names. FINALLY.....

I remember her brother and sister-in-law in Gainesville. So I look online at the white pages. VOILA!!!

After another hour of STUFF........and to make a very long story shorter than I want to type today.....I finally get her on the phone. She's alive and I am in tears.

I have had so much grief this past month that could last me the rest of my lifetime. I am so wiped out by it all. Thankfully I have my Mr. Lick Lick to talk to and hug and love on. I don't know what I would do without him.

Since the beginning of August I have been pondering life. All aspects of life. Why we are here, the cycles we go through in life, the end stages of life, death, where we go when we die, why we can't talk to those who have left us. I have examined it all and keep examining it. Thinking death is a daily thing for me now and I'm literally sick to death of death.

I never really thought about it too much except for those I've lost to death through the years, and mostly because it was in my far-off future....right?? Not to the extent that this last month has brought death to the forefront of my being. It's getting more and more frequent. And now I am fearing death. I don't want to die, I am selfish. I want to stay here forever. I don't want to leave my loved ones. How crazy is this.....I have been trying to finish up all of my unfinished crochet WIP's so that if something happens to me they're done. I know it's not really that crazy but it's crazy to the point that it's making me crazy. I have been crocheting at least. I guess that's a plus.

I won't go into the religious aspect of life and death....my views on religion, as I know it, are another very long post.

I haven't been able to post because death is on my mind constantly and it's consuming me and I have just been eaten up with the blah's. And nevermind that the 2 year anniversary of my best friend's death is Monday.

I keep thinking and hoping for some respite. I wish I had a switch in the back of head that I could just turn off my brain sometimes so I wouldn't have to think.

Hope I haven't brought you down. I also hope very much for you that life in your corner of the world is very bright and wonderful!!!

It'll get better...........
TTFN
Kat xoxox

PS/Love my little fellow up above....he's my whole world.